Life continues...

I am absolutely terrible about writing on here.  But here we go again.
Our youngest child is now nearly 13 months old and an absolute joy.  Our eldest is now 5 years old and in Kindergarten.  I am a stay at home mom now and we moved out of the city to a rural neighbourhood, it's idyllic to say the least living here.  We are close to the Rocky Mountains, wildlife frequents our property, it's not strange to see a family of deer peering back at you through your window in the early morning or evening.
I have had a long period of mental stability, not to say that I don't still have dark days or insomnia or anxiety.  Believe me I still have my daily struggles, but I have noticed that these periods do not last for all that long and are usually a result of me not doing those things that promote my own wellness.  I sometimes don't eat regularly or drink enough fluids, I sometimes don't go to bed at night even though I know I should, or I don't reach out and socialize, or go outside and get some exercise and fresh air.  I struggle to be good, but it's easier at times to be lazy and sick.

Introduction

I started this blog as an outlet for myself and also in the hopes that someone else out there might feel the same way I do and be helped or comforted to know that they are not alone.  I am 32 years old and I live in Canada.  I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder a few months ago.  My life has been a roller coaster ride of moods since about the age of 13.  I didn't know why I was always making poor decisions, ruining relationships, stuck in deep depressions for prolonged periods of time, and having periods of high elevated moods.  All I knew was that I was different from everyone else, as a result I had a tendency to isolate myself, something that I still have a tendency to do.  I sometimes feel like I'm two different people sharing one body.  When I'm feeling high (hypomanic) I am in a nutshell pleasure seeking...my drug of choice is sex.  I am married to the love of my life and we have a young child.  So as you might well imagine my husband would be happy that my drug of choice is sex.  Well at first it was, until I started looking for sexual partners outside of our marriage.  I knew that this behavior was wrong but I didn't care, that is a hallmark of cyclothymia and bipolar - whatever it is that is our pleasure we don't care at the time that it is bad or what the consequences might be.  I have been caught numerous times seeking outside relationships, or in outside relationships by my husband.  And I don't know why my husband sticks by me but he does...I guess you could call that love.  Our life has been rocked by my disorder and I struggle everyday with what I have done.